In Defense of the No-No Rule

  As a parent, I often have reasons to utter that little two letter word that children dread. No, you may not play Grand Theft Auto. No, you may not wear that...eat that..have that. And so on. There is, however, a rule in our family that has stuck for 8 years now. We call it the No-No Rule.


  The No-No Rule simply means that I do not say no to having the boys' friends over for the night, for the weekend, for the summer. I will not say no to taking in the teen whose mom is struggling with alcohol right now, or no to the homeless family seeking shelter for their child. There is a permanent welcome in our home and the kids surrounding us know it.

  There are exceptions to every rule, of course. I don't allow kids who are contagious with an illness visit until they are better. I can't allow their girlfriends, or kids currently struggling with drug addictions to stay. Those are the necessary exceptions in place to protect our family.

  Aside from the obvious exceptions, our door is always open. At this precise moment I can hear the chaotic symphony of a violin being practiced by an 11yr old, the random cackles into a video game headset by a 12yr old, and the thump thump thump of  basketball being played by Noah (also 11 years old). I'm messaging the 16yr old and writing an encouraging word to the 18yr old.  Later there will likely be s'mores involved, and absurd stories shared until late in the night.

I speak in defense of our rule because yet another parent called me nuts today. I hear this word frequently. I hear your objections and yet I hope you will understand. This may not be your calling, but it is mine.

  The purpose of this rule truly is a greater calling than "Lets have a slumber party that never ends!" I have opened my heart to what I know be the Will of God in my life and I listened to where I was being led.

  The scripture passage I refer to so very often is in Matthew 25:35-40...

  It begins: "For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me."

  We are called to take care of God's children..all of his children.  Not just the cute baby orphans, nor just the cold homeless man under the overpass. They, of course, need our care and attention.  They just aren't the only ones. The teens and pre-teens that fall between the cracks need that love and attention as well.

  It is often quoted in Christian circles that "It is through us that people will see Jesus. It is how we act, we talk, we think. Everything that we do gives people a glimpse of Jesus.  What if we are the only part of Jesus they ever see?" To me, this is more than a random quote - it's a responsibility.

  Is my house noisier than most? You better believe it. Do I have days where I'm in pain and not up to the chaos the boys bring? Sure I do. Is my grocery bill bigger than I can easily afford most of the time?  Most definitely.  Do I sometimes crave quiet? Oh yes! Are these reasons to say no? Reasons to turn away a child who needs to be a part of our family..if only for a weekend?  No and No. No-No.

In our home children get fed, they get hugs and high fives. They are cherished. They are prayed for. They come knowing the door is open and they're always welcome. If this makes me nuts, please sign me up for the crazy train because this is the track I'm on and I won't be derailed.