I Know You're a Person too, Not Just a Mom

"I know you are a person, too, not just a mom." Wise words from a teenager today. Then he knocks me down by complimenting my blog post  basically saying "it's nice to see you expressing your opinion for once.. You usually keep what you think on the dl (down low)"


It's never a good thing when you have to defend your self by exclaiming "Hey! I have opinions!" Often we are so interested in avoiding conflict that we are scared to be real.

While I am all about avoiding conflict, I am no longer scared as I once was. I'm not afraid to be me. I may not express myself fully to my kids, but I am here, I am real and boy do I ever have opinions!

I am me. A little part of me is who you need me to be. A little part of me is what you expect of me. I always say I am part little house on the prairie (my brother calls me Betty homemaker - a cross between Betty crocker and Susie homemaker).

I am part tomboy (I want to race go-carts and hit the batting cages. I want to buy a motorcycle, get my tattoo,to kickbox).

I am part girly girl (I want him to fall hopelessly for me, I want to be pretty, I want to feel sexy,I cherish bubble baths and chick flicks)

I am a super mom wannabe. I want to teach my kids about life and guide but not control them..

 I'm a Christian but so not claiming to be perfect. Forgiven yes. Perfect? Not by a long shot.

I spent 17 years trying to be my parents good kid, then 11 years keeping quiet to prevent more emotional abuse. My life had been a veritable How to Be What They Want You to Be guidebook.

Now? Now I know better. Now I know that as much as I hate conflict, I hate stifling who I am more. You can keep peace by being respectful to one another but you deserve to be you. You deserve to have opinions, objections, issues, passions, and dreams.

This is me: I feel deeply but don't show it. I hurt a lot but you won't know it. I trust almost no one completely. I am against abortion, opera, the f word, sexually charged cartoons, all politics, racism in any form, and the A.C.C.

This is also me: I love even deeper. I baby those I care about til they're good and spoiled. I hide my tears so you wont be sad too. If I give you my trust, you are something special to me. I care about kids of all kinds, about people struggling to survive, about the homeless. My heart is bigger than Texas and softer than the hair on a baby's head.

And hey....I'm a person too, not just a mom