Mama Says: Post #1 "There are 3 scooters, 3 bikes, and only 2 helmets out here. Who was trying to see if I had time to go to the hospital today?"

"Please mop that syrup off the ceiling, too. Not just the floor. Then go wash it out of your hair."

"No you cannot walk to the Circle K by yourself. You're 10. The circus monkeys would snatch you up before you ever got there. "

"No thank you. I already sniffed your brother's armpit and that's enough for today."

"Please don't sit, stand, lay on, or launch off the arm of the couch." (This was said to 4 separate kids for a total of 7 times yesterday)

"No you may not see if you can jump from the top of the bunk bed to the couch to floor in 3 seconds. I know you're capable of it and that knowledge is enough for me. I believe in you. Go play."

"There are 3 scooters, 3 bikes, and only 2 helmets out here. Who was trying to see if I had time to go to the hospital today?"

"You already ate lunch, 2 packs of gummies, a granola bar, and an apple. It's not possible that you're going to die at this exact moment of starvation, I swear to you."

"No, drinking straight from a 2 liter doesn't make it a glass. When I said one glass a day, I meant like 8 ounces of soda. No , you can't write 8oz where it says 2 liter."

"I am going to spend 5 minutes locked in the bathroom - even if I don't have to pee. Do not knock unless you are literally on fire."

"No, brushing your teeth yesterday doesn't count. No you can't take a bath AND a shower both tonight. No your sister taking a shower for you doesn't count."

"You may not rollerblade, skateboard, or scooter down the pedway. Because you'll die and I don't have time for that today. Okay, so you'll only break some legs and arms. How many extras can you spare?"

"Trust me when I say that's a bad idea. Just don't Trust me on .... are you okay? That hurt, huh? What do you mean why didn't I stop you from doing that?"

"Don't hold her upside down because she'll puke in your shoes and you'll still have to wear them to school tomorrow."

"Why are there socks on the ceiling fan?"

"Because bacon is not a dinner. Eating 8 pieces doesn't make it a meal. Yes, I know you need your protein."

"No more questions tonight. You asked 6, he's had 5. Your brother will explode if he can't ask one more and that's it. What's your question? Really? That's what you want to waste your one question on? Go to sleep."

"Do you have homework? No, this is not an eennie meanie miny moe type of question. No you can't flip a quarter. Heads you'll be grounded. Tails says you'll fail. Go find your planner."