Hungry? How can you be hungry? So far today you have eaten 2 sausage biscuits, 2 pieces of pizza, soup, fritos, fruit snacks twice, another piece of pizza, chicken and mashed potatoes. It's not even dinner time yet!! (After this, he also ate 4 bowls of chicken n dumplings.)
I checked your Chromebook. I'm not very happy about some of the YouTube things I saw but I'm very, very happy that's all I found to not be happy about.
So sorry. Throw away those shoes. Yes, I know they're your favorite. I asked you to always wear socks with shoes. That's nasty. I've argued with you every day about this. About socks! I don't have time to argue about socks. I warned you this would happen. Toss em. Try again tomorrow.
I'm not begging anyone ever to get out of bed. For every time I ask you to get up, your bedtime next week is going back a half an hour. Sorry, babysitting is gonna be difficult when your bedtime is earlier than Micah's.
5 pairs of shoes. 5! 3 pairs of socks and 3 socks with no pairs. A lacrosse stick, a basketball, the head off my pumpkin decoration, 3 cups, the box from the microwave we bought LAST SATURDAY! These are just some of the things I picked up this morning. Are you under the impression my living room is your personal closet? I'm keeping everything I found for a week.
Yes, I heard you. They "dress coded" you. That still doesn't answer my question. Why are you calling me at work? Umm. Have we met? Even your teachers know my motto. Lack of preparation on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine. Even they don't believe I am coming to rescue you, babe. Nice try though. See you at dinner!
Baby. No. I will answer all your questions truthfully, just ask. Let's start with that one. An orgasm means...(gave the clinical answer). It does not mean sex. Those are not the same word at all, honey. Stop getting your sex questions answered by guy friends. I know because that's a man's answer. A chick wouldn't have said that. What other awkward things do we need to talk about tonight?
An F means you don't care about school or self respect. A D means you tried to get away with doing nothing and failed. A C means you gave as little effort as possible. Which grades were you hoping to get rewarded for? Yayyyyyyy for 2 A's. Seriously.Yay. After this report card, I'm pretty sure you owe ME money, though.
Rules in life are simple. Trust God. Treat others well. Better than you would like to be treated. Don't roll your eyes at people smarter than you. Like me, for example. Always clean up your own messes. Don't gossip - not even if it's true. Because true gossip is still gossip just like real poop still sticks to your shoe and makes you smell like poop.
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